My parents have led quite a dramatic life in their youth, to say the least. Here is a story of how and why they got married.
It was 1987, mom and dad had been friends for a few years now, slowing growing closer to each other. If things had taken their natural course, they probably would have married each other at some point over the next few years. Maybe after they had gained some financial freedom, finished their studies and started their medical practice.
But, fate and circumstances played a large role in their lives.
Some background is needed before we go into the events leading to their wedding.
Dad comes from a family of seven siblings, one sister elder to him, all others (four sisters and one brother) younger. The family is poor and just getting by on grandfather's salary from a factory and some income from the inherited farms. Dad has decided to study medicine and pays for it himself by doing multiple tutoring jobs. The family plans to use his career as a future doctor to secure a large dowry from his wedding and use that money to marry off the other sisters.
Mom comes from a poor family too. Her father, a school teacher, really wants his children to get the kind of education that he could not get. But to his dismay none of his other four children are interested in education apart from his youngest daughter, mom. He has pinned all his hopes on her. Mom's family has no income or inheritance to pay a large dowry.
There is a also third player in this story - society. In 1980s rural Bihar people didn't marry each other for love. That was unheard of. Who cares if you love her, is she of the same caste as you? And by caste they mean is she the same sect of brahmin as you? Can she provide a good dowry? Your brother-in-law's family has secured a nice proposal for you with the only daughter of a zamindar who has large assets. For the woman, the questions are not even coherent. Is this why we sent you to college, so you can spend your time romancing some boy. Mom is the topper of her class, but that doesn't matter.
Coming back to story, mom is afraid that her family has started looking for suitable proposals for her. There are many boys in her college itself from her caste and in her parents network who have already shown interest in her. So she decides to come clean to her family. She tells them that she is in love with a boy who she wants to marry eventually and that they should not look for any grooms for her. Their reaction is frenzied rage. All the questions about her character, about the family's name come bubbling up. Her mother and elder brother even threaten to not let her go back to college. She is afraid. What if they act on their threats? Will her dream of becoming a doctor remain just a dream? She has only a year left in her course. Mom's youngest brother, 12 years old at that time, gives out the dark prophecy - "The way you all are treating her, she will not come back to this house even if you want her to after this". That prophecy falls on its face of course. It's been thirty five years and mom has good relations with her mother, if not all members of her family. But, back then that prophecy rang true in her family's ears. Her father, the education enthusiast, comes to her rescue. He is not keen on this relationship either, but the thought of his only well-educated daughter not becoming a doctor is far too big a price to pay to youthful dalliances. So, mom comes back to college.
After coming back she says to dad - let's get married before your family sells you off for large pieces of land and my family marries me off to some Pandey (a common surname in my mom's caste).
So this is how one month before their terminal exams in the penultimate year of their medical course, mom and dad decide to get hitched. They have a small group of friends that arranges it all. On the day of the wedding, my mom is wearing borrowed sari and jewellery from a well-off close friend. Their friends have arranged for some flower garlands and negotiated a cheap deal with the priest of the nearby Shiva temple to perform the ceremony. My dad is wearing his regular shirt and pants with no special adornments. They exchange their flower garlands and decide to love, respect and care for each other for the rest of their lives. The marriage is registered in court the next day and they go back to their respective hostel rooms to study for the upcoming exam.
What happens after is a different story altogether. After the exams are over, they tell their families that it is done, they can't separate them anymore. The families don't take this horrendous act of rebellion standing down. There are beatings, threats, schemes of somehow separating them, nullifying the marriage. But, to their dismay nothing works. They eventually, even if somewhat begrudgingly, accept the relationship and decide to give them their blessings.
This is the story of two lovers who decide tempt fate and live their lives on their own terms. After thirty five years, they have no regrets. If they had to do this all over again, they will do it in the same way.